Training from Panama to San Juan:

I remember returning to Santa Monica diseappointed and eager to toe the next start line. But I would have to wait three weeks before that could happen again in San Juan. At that time, it felt like a VERY long time to wait for a second opportunity. I also knew I would be quite alone on the journey to the next start line. My super driven coach and team were gone now (to Australia for a camp). I opted not to join for financial reasons (I was already renting an apartment in Santa Monica) and because I had decided to race in Panama (so much for that argument now…). As I am pretty new in L.A, I spend most of my time training. My social environment has been mostly made of friends from the team and it felt like it was about to get VERY QUIET for me now. Thankfully I always have my little pup ALICE… haha.

(Little Alice)

So upon my return, I picked up my unconditional friend and headed home to think about a way to get a smile back on my face and a BIG DRIVE back into my heart. I was going to have to recreate a motivational environment now for myself. I decided to embrace the challenge of that. In a way, I needed the hard time I got in Panama and I also needed a little bit more of a hard time training+ living completely SOLO. Nothing is worst then too much comfort, it brings numbness. Getting out of the comfort zone can be great and so energizing. I loved that it now had to come from ME. Siri sent me good plans and I updated her everyday, things were going better then ever for this time of the year. In the end, in being alone I found hidden opportunity! It was not too hard to find sources of inspiration in Santa Monica. Here’s how it worked out for me:

Bike training:

I joined the La Grange group rides once or twice a week and discovered an encouraging group to push me there. I loved playing BIKE WAR like that with the guys! (Actually it was more geeky, I called them MORTAL COMBAT MORNING rides but don’t tell anyone). Long week-end rides also changed, they became an adventure. I wondered –aerobically-into the Santa Monica mountains, up and over the climbs, along the windy roads, knowing that sooner or later in the ride, attacks would take place. Attacks had to happen! I had no intention of falling asleep on those long rides, I wanted to find some thrill out there. For example, I remember being violently attacked on a flat in the last half hour of a 5h ride. IT WAS BRUTAL. It was just after a stop for coke and I was probably sitting up and beginning to daydream when –Luke- called me back to action. Suddenly, he was FLYING down topanga in front of me, firing pistons over pedals. I hung on and challenged for a while on the following flat section until we exchanged a smile and parted ways laughing. (Although there was no talking, I found out the beast was named Luke later, long story but quite funny). On another ride, I met Larry. When I met him, he wasn’t actually attacking, although he is totally able to SMASH me. I actually met him shortly after having won a first battle with a random cyclist. As Larry’s shadow slowly grew on my left side, I was convinced my previous pray had found a second wind. I was looking forward and about to stand on my pedals when I heard something along the lines of: Are you Magali? Larry is a triathlete and an outstanding cyclist. Shortly after, Larry and I got –arrested- (lol) for burning a stop sign and he became a friend…haha. We went for another ride the following week-end and he gave me a few painful lessons of modesty on the bike. LOVED IT!

Swim training:

In the pool, I got to swim with my teammate Chris Foster a few times, completed a few long solo swims by jumping into swim practices such as that of Kenneth Santiago’s group at Culver city Plunge for part of it. FUN! Thanks Kenneth! And the real treat was getting to occasionally join the great Alex Kostich for a few, more then hard, morning swim workouts. (Reference: Alex Kostich is a 3-time Pan American Games gold medalist and former All-American swimmer at Stanford University. He is also one of the world’s fastest open water swimmers and best masters swimmers. He has won dozens of open water swims from California to the Caribbean including the Bora Bora Liquid Festival and the St. Croix Coral Reef Swim Race(14 times). He has also won the Waikiki Roughwater Swimthree times and the La Jolla Rough Water Swim six times.) He is also a GREAT person and it is such a privilege to be able to join his group swims once in a while.(Don’t get me wrong, for me to swim with the group it require putting on paddles sometimes to keep up and skipping a few hundreds here in there in order to just SURVIVE (it’s getting better, I used to have to put a wetsuit AND paddles on to follow and I am not kidding!!! hahaaha….what won’t kill ya… will make ya….FASTERRR!)

So these great friends also helped me make sure I was stepping up the effort when I needed to and I feel so blessed to be surrounded with people that help in that way.

Run Training:

For running all was good. My friend was mostly the treadmill but I do very well with that one. It’s fun to have a challenger you can control once in a while!

So these training adventures kept me driven and looking back, I realize things were not so quiet after all!

The Race:

The race setup:

I traveled to San Juan from LAX with my Teammate Jenny Fletcher. This race is  very well organized. The setup is perfect, making it quite simple to get things done. The race organizers are the same as for Panama 70.3 and they do their job at 110%, it’s quite impressive.  I was staying at the Hilton Caribe. It is a wonderful hotel located about 10-15 minutes from the airport. The expo, meetings, Pro Pannel also took place across the street from the hotel. The swim start as well as the transition were just a short walk away. So all this put together made the experience quite relaxing and fun. All the time usually spent worrying about logistics was spent relaxing and focusing on the race. I arrived late on Thursday and that was PLENTY of time to get everything set with no stress. I got to spend some time with Teammate Jenny, catch up with my friend Linsey Corbin and her husband Chris. I was also excited to see the –Quebec- crew there. Francois St-Onge, my –Equilibrum- sponsor and friend was there with a few other of our friends and that was special to me.

(Jenny on way to swim practice)

Meeting Team St-Barths!

Another fun thing for me was to see an old friend Xavier Ledee from St-Barths that I hadn’t seen in years. I met Xavier and his family when I traveled to St-Barths with my family on vacation when I was little. Memories of times spent in St-Barths when my dad was still with us are so close to my heart. Seeing Xavier again made me happy. It was quite special.

Xavier and members of what I call –team St-Barths- made it a pretty simple trip: They hopped onto a 1h flight and arrived on Friday. Xavier was doing his first Half Ironman. St-Baths is BEAUTIFUL (the most beautiful Island to me) and also TINY. The roads are windy, extremely Hilly and drivers have way too much fun racing around in their little Mokes. The island a playground! But it definitively is not an easy place to ride a bike. When I went there a few years ago, I actually packed my computrainer and trained indoors, there was no way I could ride outside. I was wondering how Xavier and his friends managed to ride on the Island. How did they do their long bike rides to prepare? Did they just ride on the trainer? NO! Xavier said he didn’t really use a trainer, that on Sunday, they rode a 5k loop A FEW times. When I heard this, I was a little bit worried for my friend that was about to throw himself into the 70.3’s challenging bike, but one of his teammates was a 7x 70.3 finisher so I figured he knew what he was doing! It turns out Xavier completed his first half Ironman and he had a big smile on his face when I saw him in the lobby after the race.

Pre-race prep

(CARBS!!)

I felt good the days before the race. The only thing perhaps is that I never manage to sleep well that week and I am usually very sensitive to lack of sleep. I only slept 3 hour on Wednesday night (travel day was Thursday), about 4-5 hours on Thursday, a little more on Friday (5-6) and about 2.5h on Saturday night. I think THAT killed me. I usually sleep 10h and though my body felt fine, I think I had a good deal of central fatigue from that and the traveling. The stress and excitement of the race was probably making me feel fine about the lack of sleep and I was okay during the day. Trainings were feeling quite good too so I felt confident going into the race.

Race day:

(Part of the swim course, loved swimming -through- that bridge, also the path to the swim start)

2,5 hours of sleep is okay…I am sure I wasn’t the only one that didn’t get much sleep that night and it didn’t worry me. I was quite nervous though heading to the swim start. I find that the first race of the year is always so much more stress. To regulate my activation on race morning, I just looked around, reminded myself I was about to jump into the ocean, in beautiful Puerto Rico and attack one of my favorite courses on the circuit. Putting things into perspective works well in destination races like this one.

I got a good swim warm-up and the gun went off….

I hammered the start, I knew there were a few VERY strong swimmers in this field. I have good start speed so I managed to hang on to Nina, Kelly, Radka and Tenille for about 300m. I found myself in Nina’s feet for a while. Her bubbles kept on shifting laterally on me and I found myself fighting OVER and OVER to follow them and realign. (It was like she and I were never aligned, everytime I put my head up, her bubbles were to one side or the other). It got very hard to stay right behind her and at one point I looked in front to find she was totally to my left and a bit ahead. THAT WAS IT. I had lost the pack. SHOOT!!! This happened too in Panama (only later, towards half the swim). A moment to focus and put my head down and they are GONE! Then I fight a little to try and get back in the group but so far that it has never worked. From there, I was ALONE in no man’s land. I was dropped by the main pack, so I stayed positive and just got into my rhythm. At the first turn buoy, I made a mistake and came for a breath as I was under the buoy. I celebrated that mistake with a few cups of San Juan Ocean soup. UGH! Re-focus. It felt like I was swimming strong but looking at my time I feel like I should have been going faster. My pool times have improved so much in the last few months that I expected to be at least a minute faster then the time I swam in the end. I also heard that the pack went out VERY fast even for Tenille who ended up getting out of the water FIRST, that was an amazing swim Tenille! She said the girls took it out quite fast and then got into a rhythm a little later. Maybe next time if I just hang in a little longer I will make the pack for good. I have to think that! The day that happens I will be STOKED!!!!! I think pool swimming maybe also needs to be combined with some open water swimming before it can translate perfectly but that is for later. We should be starting ocean swims soon here in Santa Monica and I am excited about that.

T1:

I had a great transition and ran FAST out of the water, everything flowed perfectly and I hopped onto my bike.  After the first pedal strokes, I heard a strange rubbing sound and started PRAYING nothing was wrong this time. Breaks rubbing??? OH MY GOD…no!…WHEW…it was my race number rubbing and everything was fine. ON MY WAYYYYYYyyyyyyyY!!!!

Bike:

Well, again, just like in the swim, I was feeling quite good but also a little lethargic. Like it was flowing but I didn’t have the aggressive spark or second gear I usually have. It was like a rhythm that was lacking power, like I wasn’t –awake- enough. Still, I pushed that rhythm as much as I could, looking up the road and hoping to soon see Nina, Kelly, Radka ahead, and maybe Tenille. I took a while before they appeared and I started feeling my biking was not doing too good. STOP that thought! Re-focus! Cadence, power, think positive, cadence, power, strong, positive. Linsey FLIES by me…uh oh. Re-focus but keep a visual and use it to get out of that strange pace I was in. Keeping the visual on Linsey made me realize she flew by me fast but was not dropping me that drastically once she had passed so I figured she must have had a great swim (which she did) and I stayed in the game, pushing for her to distance me as little as possible. Doing that, I ended up passing Tenille a little further down the road but it seems that the same happened to her as she re-passed me soon after that! A while later, I tried to pass her again. That time it was harder and it was killing my legs. She passed me a second time and it seemed like she was now awake for good as I never was able to pass her again. However, the visual I had on her allowed me to focus and stay strong and not let her get smaller and smaller in the distance. Towards the middle of the bike, I started feeling a little hot and sleepy. As I was sleepy and not super energy since the beginning of the bike I kept on having more and more double caffeine gels (I ended up having 7…oh man …and was craving even more), I also had 2 L of water, one of gatorade and 4 salt tabs. But it didn’t seem to do much for me. I was still feeling quite lethargic. At the two last aid stations, I pored water over my head and it felt awesome. I thanked god for my helmet choice on the day. The Kask Mojito is SUPER vented, compact and light and has been the best choice for sure in these hot conditions. Definitely one of the positive points of my race.

The custom MM Kask Mojito I wore in San Juan!! Clue on the 2012 Blue bike design it will match…

The more time went by though, the more I seemed to fade and I lost sight of Tenille in the last 6 miles. It was about time we got off the bike.

The Run:

I hopped off the bike finding my legs felt quite good! I left transition in good rhythm but still kind of generally low energy. That never happened. Although I felt more energy in the first few miles of the run, it seemed like the hot conditions or whatever was making me feel sleepy and it was hitting me again and I just couldn’t step it up and be more aggressive. Everything felt heavy although strangely my legs felt quite good.

My first loop was not that bad. I passed Tenille early, moving up to fourth and then gained some ground on Radka who was running in third place. At one point towards the end of the first loop, I was 45 seconds down on third place. Shortly after I turned around to start the second loop, I started feeling I was having some GI issues. I had chills and I was going to have to GO!! Shoot. SHOOT!! This only happened to me once before and never that bad. I saw a port-o-potty up ahead and just HAD to get in and go. Did it as fast as I could but definitely lost some good time there. RE-Focus and stay positive. By the last turnaround I realized third position had now gained back the ground and more. Man…at that point I stopped thinking about anyone else because there was nothing positive to gain from it and just looked at the ground in front of me and focused on rhythm (the sound of my last salt tabs jumping around in my Fuel Belt flask at every stride, trying to make the rhythm build into getting faster and faster. Focusing on rhythm had become the challenge.) At times, thoughts went negative: I  thought on the result I would get, the lethargic state I was in, the heat, the bisters forming under the front of my right foot. The challenge was to cut them out and replace them with one simple thought: rhythm. That got me to the finish the best I could. I crossed the finishline feeling good about my effort but quite lethargic. Strangely, my legs did not feel that overloaded as they would when I cross a line and just want to drop to the ground. It simply had not been that kind of a day. It was quite upsettting as it left me feeling like I SHOULD have been able to step it up and be more aggressive but it was like I didn’t have the general energy to be the fighter I wanted to be on the day. I was a -sleepy- fighter, grinding through, pushing through the best I could but never feeling SPUNKY like I usually do. It was quite a strange feeling and I am still trying to understand exactly why I raced that way. Not really being able to truly step it up to hard race mode but HANGING IN THERE best I could. That’s it I guess. I am proud I -HUNG IN THERE- but frustrated I wasn’t able to ATTACKKKKK!!!!

Post-race:

I couldn’t understand really why I felt so flat. I know I have been training well (better then ever at this time of the year) and I expected to race better then that. It was diseappointing and I let it get to me for a while. I was pretty beat for a bit and took some time to reflect alone. After a while, I was able to put it aside. And thank god because I would have missed a nice conclusion to the trip. Later I went down by the hotel pool and had some good fun with my friends Linsey Corbin (who had a great race finishing second overall) and her husband Chris, Jenny Fletcher (who finished 9^th in one of her first events of that distance), Tim O’Donnel was also a happy winner sitting at our table by the hotel pool. Fun times. After some good laughs, a few Pina Coladas, FOOD and a glass of Champagne with our very gracious winner. I was happy and ready to look at my race differently and turn the page. We went out to the after party that night. It turned into a nice quiet dinner and no one went to sleep too late as most of us already had to focus on the next race and were simply exhausted.

I wish I could have left San Juan after having truly discovered the city. I always think I want to stay longer after that race and spend a day enjoying the area. Maybe I will next year! This  year, race organizer Alejandro Velasquez gave us a nice tour of the course and we got to see part of the old city and that was an amazing bonus for this trip.

Thank you to Alejandro and Arturo for having organized such an outstanding event and for having so graciously treated us Pros during our stay. Hope to see them next year. Congratulations to race winners Tim O’Donnell and Kelly Williamson. Thank you to all of you who have sent me words of encouragement and  believe in me. Next up is Oceanside and I have a master plan I will tell you about before the race!!! It’s gonna hurt more then ever.

(My morning view)

I arrived in Panama city on a Wednesday night. The 6h flight from LAX went by so fast and upon landing, pro athletes were greeted by the race organizing crew. Wonderful surprise! From there, we were driven to the race hotel and everything just flowed. Both the driver and the only other athlete on the shuttle with me, spoke Spanish. I stumbled my way through a Spanish conversation and we giggled in the night all the way to the hotel.

But the night was still young! I randomly met Steve Godwin and Kurt Hoy from Competitor upon arrival and we went out to dinner in a local Italian restaurant for good CARBS!! Fun times, I love those guys!!!

The next day, it was time to find good places to get short trainings in and get into the beat! Since roads are quite crowded and there are not too many roads that have shoulders to ride on in Panama city, most people took taxis out to the run course and would ride their bikes out there, which was fine. I also went to the local bike shop (TriStore Panama was just a few minutes from the hotel, that was quite convenient! And the service was excellent!

Chante got my bike ready to go!!

And I got a super warm -Welcome- from the Tri Store crew and peeps from local Tri3max Magazine.

With just shorter training to do before the race, I just stayed near the Riu hotel to train. Early in the morning, I would just ride down to the run-bike path called Cinta Costera that goes along the water, it is only about two + miles long but I didn’t mind going back and forth a few times and keeping it simple, it allowed me to get things done early and head for breakfast back at the hotel.

I loved starting the day with this…

For swimming, I hear there was a good 50m pool not far from the hotel but I enjoyed swimming at the hotel pool with my buddies, it was pretty good too (25yards). So in the days leading up to the race, I was just mostly staying relaxed, saving up energy and enjoying time at the Riu hotel. There were some good times with great friends: Leanda Cave, Haley Cooper, Bree Wee, Paul Amey.

I had a STRATEGIC room view see? Water temp was perfect, 25 yards are fun AND…I got to pick the best time to go swimming by just looking out my window and counting swimmers! Also get to spy on the competition whenever you want to! (Just kidding…)

With SUPERBIRD!!! (Leanda Cave). I miss you Leanda!!!

It was the first race of the year and the mood was relaxed, I was smiling from ear to ear, catching up with these guys, doing some fun little trainings together etc…

As the days went by, it felt like race day was not coming soon enough. The day before the race, I got to see transition and Javier Mosquera from Honey Stingers took me to see the course with Ramon Serrano and his wife.

A look at transition.

And we are OFF! With Javier Mosquera!

Ramon and I had a -shoot from the car- photo contest. I obviously lost. See?

(I figured bad pics better then no pics at all…)

(If you noticed that one during the race, you weren’t going hard enough!)

(one of the long and fast descents, I tried to make it a nice picture….ugh)

still trying

One of the long steady climbs.

So that was the course pictures guys…sorry!!!

These pictures were taken in a more modest area of the city. We went through it on the way back from the course to the hotel. It’s more like the -behind the scenes- of Panama city but it is charming in a different way.

Finally, race day came!

On race morning, Leanda and I hopped into the car with Steve and Kurt and were –shipped- to transition. (Shuttle service was also organized and going well on race morning but we were happy to head out with our friends! Offer was hard to refuse.). I prepared my equipment, CHECKED MY TIRES, PUMPED MY TIRES. DOUBLE CHECKED MY TIRES and racked my bike. All set and ready to go.

The transition in Panama is very long but within walking distance of the swim start, so after setting up transition we all walked to point A through the crowd. I remember feeling so relaxed heading to the swim start. I just could not wait to see how all my efforts would pay off, particularly in the swim!!! I had been working the swim so hard!

There I was, finally walking down the stairs to the swim start….and the crowd went WILD. HUH? Okay hold on…stop the tape. Something wrong here. I knew the tidal wave that hit the crowd was NOT directed at Mighty Mags. I kind of had a feeling that a guy in black in yellow may be just behind me. So…instead of taking a bow…. I turned around to see Lance Armstrong, -following me-. Okay well not FOLLOWING me, he was just trying to get to the swim start.

(I never stutter and blush only occasionally. My jaw has never dropped (didn’t that only happen in cartoons?). But all of a sudden, all these symptoms hit me at once and I was paralyzed! Fortunately, I could still move my lips: – Welcome Lance!- I said. I do think he said thank you and that I got a smile in return for my silly words. That might have been why I turned back to face the water quite quickly and proceeded to march to the swim start, eyes wide open like I had just seen a ghost. No more warm up necessary, thank you.)

ANYWAYS….the swim in Panama was the swim I had been waiting for a LONG TIME!!!!!!!!! IT WAS THE SWIM I HAD DREAMED OF for a WHILE!!! In fact until about the half way point, I would say it had been the PERFECT swim!!! I was in the lead pack and the adrenaline was rushing through my veins!!!! Unfortunately, around the middle of the swim, I sighted to find out I had lost the pack by a tiny gap. I put my head down and promised myself to push as hard as I could for 30 seconds and see where I was….STILL THE SAME…another 30 second effort…not any closer. I had lost the magic draft but was determined not to get dropped. Michelle Vesterby went by my left side and I saw another opportunity to make my way to the front. Maybe she would swim into the lead pack! Unfortunately this didn’t happen, we just stayed together, at a slight gap behind the lead pack. Going over the mat, we were 30 seconds back from the lead out of the water. YEEEESSSS!!!!! I’m finally starting the bike with the lead girls. This is gooood!

There was a good current in that swim but I do have to still be proud to have finally made it into T1 at the front of a race in which some of the best swimmers in the sport were!!

That feeling was such a reward for my efforts since January and I was just STOKED and so proud when I arrived in transition to see them all un racking their bikes.

AND SUDDENDLY…..The wind changed….

…It all crumbled: I ran to the wrong bike, came back to mine, jumped on….nearly lost my shoe. Gave my first pedal stroke only to find out my rear tire was DEAD FLAT.

WHAT??????? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! This has only happened happened to me ONCE in a race and I never carry a spare, I ride tubulars and couldn’t find any Pit stop before the race (not that I have ever needed to use that either). I guess I was feeling lucky or something and didn’t worry about it too much…MISTAKE!! And what a stupid mistake!! There was hope at the beginning, I almost got lucky. Someone yelled that there was bike tech at the end of transition (that was great that one was actually there and it could have saved my race). I rode my bike through to the tent but we could not get a hold of the bike mechanics…. 5-6 minutes later we were still looking for bike tech that were probably busy helping other athletes, they didn’t come until it was way too late.

About the flat, I will not elaborate on this part because it makes me quite upset. I will say that the circumstances appeared VERY STRANGE as we realized later that there was NO PUNCTURE in the tire of my disk wheel and that the valve was -unscrewed -(like when you want to let air out: you first –unscrew- the valve before applying pressure to it to release the air). The only way the tire could have gone flat with the –unscrewed- valve would have been if pressure had been applied on the valve and I certainly did not do that. I did the same routine as usual on race morning and the mechanic remembers clearly putting air in my tire and then me just placing my bike on the rack (the same person had also put air in my tire before a training ride a few days prior and everything was fine then). Even if the mechanic had not screwed the valve (secured it) after putting air in the disk wheel, it would not explain that the tire went flat. Strange stuff…

Nina and I, with Race director Alejandro Velasquez. Alejandro is a perfectionist and has done such an amazing job with this race AND San Juan 2011. We were with him right after this happened in transition.

Seems like Ramon Serrano caught me in a moment of deep reflection!

I had to remind myself that things happen for a reason and search for the positive in this situation. It took a while before I was able to, I was just so angry.  What happened with the tire was a test and I failed it. First, my equipment should be better organized and I should have a flat tire back-up plan. I took it for granted as in years of racing this had  only happened to me once. The other reason I failed is that: I think Siri is right, even if I had fixed the tire and hopped back onto my bike as far as ten minutes behind the lead, I should STILL have believed that I could manage to bike-run my way up the ranking as much as I could. I realize that I still wasn’t believing in myself enough since after having lost somewhere close to 10 minutes, I thought I totally blew my chances. Moral of the story: I still have to work on making the self belief stronger !! I feel it takes practice. Next time I have such an obstacle in a race I will stop and think: What if I could prove to myself that EVEN THIS couldn’t stop me from getting the best out of myself, make it a personal test and I will go out, focused on that new goal, be out there on my own if I have to. That would certainly earn me at least a smile in the day, not a DNF. Re-focusing, changing the source of motivation, right in the moment! That is what I have to do next time I hit adversity and I will.

My last blog was me realizing okay: so this is what I have to do, this is what I need to change!!! I have to race fearless, do it for me, go out and get what I deserve, forget about being judged, take risks. I guess this blog and some that will follow will help me answer THE NEXT QUESTION: Now HOW EXACTLY do I do that!!! Now I know that things going REAL bad can bring a NEW source of inspirations that may be VERY STRONG as long as I have integrity and am prepared to race FOR MYSELF. I need to change my goal and re-focus when that happens. Seems simple but emotions get very strong out there and when I would think about a race, I didn’t like to think about visualizing what could go wrong, I just shut it out. Huge MISTAKE! I do need to also imagine situations where things go wrong and have a super strong game plan. I have to know EXACTLY where I will find inspiration even when everything is falling apart because on the moment, it is sometimes hard to think straight and frustration can also sometimes get in the way. I feel that will apply to way more then the flat tire situation!!

Things happen for a reason: that situation won’t take me down twice.

Anyways, as Nina’s race was also over (for some equally strange reason, her aerobars were twisted to the side when she hopped onto her bike), we went on a long run together. It helped us feel a little bit better.

Needless to say that all I wanted to do the next day was stay in my hotel room and be sad and get very hard on myself. Fortunately, I have those great friends in triathlon. As Haley and Bree reminded me: Mags, when you are 80 (or 100+ I hope) years old and looking back, you’ll regret not having taken the day to explore Panama after that race where you had a flat. SO on the night of the race, I tried to relax and had some beers with friends Haley, Bree and I had some great time catching up.

Part of me just wanted to head home and away from the memories of what just had happened but my flight out was on Tuesday….I did not want to sit in my hotel room and beat myself up. No point in doing that. I am too much of a -lucky- girl in life to start a pity party over one race experience. I switched to a smile and took the day to press the RESET button because I had friends that made me smile. And what a day off it was…Race winner Angela Naeth called me, inviting me to join she and our new Panama friends (Javier Mosquera, Martin Sosa, Melissa Lamastus, Gaby Aued, Michelle Sanchez ) for lunch at the Panama Canal.

We were spoiled, had lunch at the restaurant that overlooks the Canal, it was wonderful! Then, the girls took us to a shopping center near the hotel. It was such a fun day and really distracted me from having any sad thoughts.

Things got better and better as the day went on! That night, I would discover my favorite part of Panama city. Javier picked me up at the hotel and took me to old Panama city (Casco Viejo), actually just a few minute drive from the hotel! He took his time driving through the little streets to point out elements of history and fun places to explore in the future.

Sideways picture is better then no picture. (Sorry…hihi)

I didn’t mean to be in all the pictures…

(do you see the human leg in those plants? We had no idea what it was doing there either)

Unfortunately another not so great picture…oh boy. Dinner in a charming little square at Casablanca restaurant.

So we met up with the others, once again, to have a delicious dinner in great company. I remember pausing for a moment, that night, and realizing how blessed I was. I was sitting at a table in a old Panama city Plaza, surrounded by the authentic smiles of my new friends. We laughed, talked about triathlon (of course) about the race, about our different lifestyles. We also shared much about each other and about life and that was wonderful. I can understand why they were so excited to introduce me to their wonderful world. They asked more then once: So…do you like Panama? All of their good intentions were reflected in that question, it really warmed my heart.

MY PANAMA FRIENDS!!! THE ONES THAT REALLY MADE MY DAY!!!

After dinner, there was more fun planned!! We walked through old streets and made our way to a really fun bar.

And this is why it was so fun….(see below)

A bar on the roof top! Good times… (wish the pic was better, it would show how, from that roof top, you could see both the old city and the -modern- Panama city that seemed to be just accross the water.

I have seen Panama city, the modern part, like most people that came to race did. But Javier and friends made me discover the heart behind the big city. I saw the -jungle- around the city and the life –behind the scenes- in the more modest area, when Javier took me to see the course. I have seen the old city and caught glimpses of the history in it all and THAT is truly what made me appreciate the surroundings. But to answer my friend’s question: yes, I did love discovering Panama city but it is meeting -the people of Panama city- that made the experience as rich as it was. Never have I felt so welcomed or have I been treated so well. There was such an authenticity in the way they shared as much as they could with me. And this extends beyond the circle of those new friends. The organizers, the people that I met at TriStore Panama, the people from Tri3Max, showed such excitement when talking about the race, there is a true passion for the growing sport in Panama city and it is great to see. There is also a great respect for the athletes.

So just like that, I switched off for a day, disconnected and enjoyed what life had in store for me. I have no doubt it was the right decision. I didn’t allow myself to get hard on myself and woke up the next morning ready to turn the page and think about the training to come and the next race. SAN JUAN 70.3!!!

ON TO THE NEXT ONE and taking wonderful memories with me. Thank you friends.

I thought I would give you all a quick update before I hit the first race of the year ( AT PANAMA 70.3 THIS WEEK-END!!!).

I have been back in Santa Monica since the beginning of January and have enjoyed two great months of base training with Team Sirius. My main focus this year will be Hyvee and 70.3 worlds and I have my mind set on bringing it all to the next level this year. I have focused mostly on swimming so far (SO MUCH SWIMMING!!! More then ever before!!) and done some amazing riding in the Santa Monica mountains and along the PCH. This includes a few key rides where I would try to hang on for my life with the boys…yes I did get DESTROYED a few times, took chances and even bonked BAD once but I LOVE it when the guys kick my ass. There were also some great confidence building rides in there, great training ADVENTURES.

Strength training with Arlynd Fletcher! We make it fun! The day ends by the beach!

Arlynd Fletcher, Jenny Fletcher and Jon Sharon (our new Pro who has enjoyed making me suffer ALOT on the bike.

Running has been a little bit less my focus so far but I did run the Carlsbad  half marathon at the end of a big week of training a few weeks ago and do okay for this time of the year and not tapering (1:20 something) so I am not worried about finding the run fitness soon. This proves that you can get pretty good general fitness from swimming alot at this part of the season and it was encouraging. Another reason I ran that half marathon half smashed relates to the blog I wrote last time and how I want to change as an athlete and person. I have to race for ME and not worry so much about being judged or worrying about the result  or time so I just went out there because I needed to toe the line and it felt AWESOME!!!!! I think this will be a good exercise that I will integrate sometimes in training!

I am right where I want to be in early Febuary and I am ready to go out there and give myself a reward for 2 months of good base work, make myself proud, prove to myself that good work pays off. In my mind and heart, I am also at the best place I have been in a long time, I just feel so blessed and so happy and I hope that will translate into my racing this year.

Little Alice can’t come this time, but seems like she won’t mind hanging out here while I’m away.

Was fueling up at home in Quebec during the off season

What was holding me back in the past few years? I was happy but part of me felt numb. I never really realized my emotional life had changed as I was sincerely happy everyday. But something was missing, just that little extra edge that makes all the difference. During the off season, I realized how key these things are for my soul: THRILL, excitement, variety, change, discovery, RISK, uncertainty. I need them. These last two years, I have been more –safe- and –calculating- then I ever was. (Isn’t that just called growing up or rather…getting old??? I don’t want THAT!). After my first podium at worlds 70.3, I felt like I had achieved something that was fragile and so new, that I was afraid to lose and I began trying to control things (training more reasonably, choosing races strategically, playing it –smart-, making estimations on performance, placing expectations and being hard on myself about making sure I keep on performing better and better). Now I understand that all that process made me lose part of myself and life outside of triathlon only made me realize it now, in the last few months. I need to be living my life with thrill and excitement everyday. The key to this will be to stop fearing sadness or diseapointment or any emotion we define as –bad-, they are hard to live but they are often necessary on the way to success.  They also are food for the soul because even if the emotions are sometimes painful, they make you feel alive and appreciate all those good emotions when they come. I realize that nothing will make me feel more numb then comfort and calculation, I believe it is the first thing that made me lose some of that passion that makes champions and happy souls. I wonder…are there many –reasonable- great champions in this world? I DOUBT IT.

-Personal Legend-

Like my favorite author, Paolo Coelho, I believe that all of us are put on the earth for a reason. So many people are in search of their –purpose-, their reason to live or a way to impact the world to feel a little bit less mortal. In his book, The Alchemist, Coelho presents his point of view beautifully. He explains that -we all are born to realize our own PERSONAL LEGEND-. He talks about the incredible force that resides in each of us, the one that fuels our dreams. Another one of my favorite authors,–Antoine de St-Exupery-, refers a lot to the INNER CHILD and what a strength it is when it is kept ALIVE in the adult. It is that power of –innocence- (trust in life and in the future) that beautiful innocence that leads to BELIEF and ultimately, to the realization of our personal legend.

I think many reasons make some of us lose a little bit of our belief and our passion as we –grow up- and –conform- to society, as we move forward in life and as some of us start caring too much about the judgment of others. We learn to place our emotions in little boxes and to be –normal-. In today’s reality, it is easy to lose touch of that inner child, that powerful essence we were given along with our talents. We adults have less time to ourselves, less time to take a step back, a deep breath and evaluate how we are doing emotionally and how we are growing inside. I think I was starting to lose some of that inner child- in my last two years of racing. THAT was the source of my loss of confidence at times.

Obstacles to success:

Paolo Coelho suggests that the reason why some never quite realize their –personal legend- is because of these four obstacles placed in our way during our lifetime:

1 –We are told from childhood onward that the –incredible- things we want to do are impossible.

2-If we have the courage to disinter dream, we are then faced by the second obstacle: Love. We know what we want to do but we are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream.

3-Once we have accepted that love is a stimulus, we come up against the third obstacle: fear of the defeats we will meet on the path (…) because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: -Oh, well, I didn’t really want it anyway.-

4-Having disinterred our dream, having used the power of love to nurture it  (…) we suddenly notice that what we wanted is there, waiting for us, perhaps the very next day. Then comes the fourth obstacle: the fear of realizing the dream for which we fought all our lives. Oscar Wilde said: -Each man kills the thing he loves-. And it’s true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up to get this far.

(…)

but if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get (…) you understand why you are here.

I recognize each of those obstacles Coelho mentions in his book…I have faced them and have recently realized that I have been a little stuck on the last one in the past year. I feel like something just clicked and that I am now ready for more. I want to race with more belief then ever, go back to dreaming real big and having FUN. Doing it all to celebrate life. Taking things from my life outside of the sport, exciting new things in life, and using them to inspire myself to race faster then ever.

I believe that when you are in the right place, fighting the good fight and on route to your dream, everything around you conspires to make your dream happen. You get a lot of what some like to call coincidences. You meet friends or strangers that deliver the perfect message at the perfect time, pieces of a puzzle are handed to you and if you believe in life, you will recognize those pieces and use them to build your dream. People come in and out of your life, bringing strength directly or making you stronger by causing obstacles or by making you realize your weakness. All things that happen can be used as building blocs, all the good and all the bad. And I believe that things always happen for a reason.

It seems the further I move into my own personal journey, the more people there are around me that have great souls and share outstanding energy. When I started in the sport, I was surrounded with doubt, a lot of people told me I could never make it . I was told that several times. I thank those people now as I actually know they HELPED me get inspired and crave my dream even more. I chased it with so much hunger and CONVICTION back then, when there was less reason to believe it could actually happen. One year, I made my move and decided to take a chance and believe that I could commit 100 percent to training and everything started coming true. That was the year I got the first podium at worlds and it was an amazing, life changing year. An affirmation that I was on the right path. From there, I met so many people that supported me and gave me love and encouragements and finally, now, when I need it the most, I am seeing all of those great things grow exponentially. Everyday, I look around and feel blessed. I am at the point where I am surrounded with extraordinary souls. The last thing I need to do is –accept- all of these wonderful things, accept that true happiness and excitement can be a reality pretty much EVERYDAY of my life and use it to go forward. Go out and get it. Because everything in my life is telling me to!

In the last few months…all of a sudden, life was giving me an answer to what exactly was holding me back AS A PERSON and consequently, as an athlete.

It was the off season and inspiration came from everywhere: in books I read, new friendships or re-connecting with old friends. It was also in random events that happened coincidentally, it was striking how EVERYTHING was telling me the same thing and it ended up being a change in How I FELT about pursuing my goal. I started feeling the sharper passion I first had when I started in the sport and an incredible energy. I feel renewed because in the last few months, life has shown me the things I needed to change about myself in oder to allow myself to truly live fully:

-Let go of the judgement of others

-Be more confident. Key word: integrity

-Do things in the name of passion and love

-Remove doubt, just trust in life and in all things good

-Take risks (this has always been a primary motivator of mine)

-Stay positive in all situations as all situations are there to make me grow

-Stay in the present, give your best at every moment but let go of expectations. Embrace what life has given me and use that feeling to generate the future.

-Future is built in the present. Stay in the moment. Build in the moment.

Mainly:

-Release myself from fears, and SIMPLY go for it.

I need passion and I need thrill, I need high emotions. That is my fuel. I need to share intense feelings and that is WHY I love what I do.

That is how I want to live my life in the future and this is the athlete I want to be.

BRING IT!!!

Here’s to 2012!!!!!! May we all chase our dreams with passion and see them come true.

I arrived in Santa Monica a week ago, so pumped to start training again.  The first thing I saw when I looked up to the stairs of my apartment, were two huge boxes of the FINEST helmets in the world.

I was excited when I heard Kask wanted to sponsor me. I had heard about how amazing they were in terms of comfort and performance. The same product worn by  Team Sky in the tour de france. Top notch products, 100% made in Italy. Other then that, I had been riding with team mate Jenny Fletcher who had only great things to say about the helmets.

Kask have been in the helmet industry for 15 years and is newer to the triathlon world where they are making a BOOM. From Safety, Ski, Horseback and cycling helmets. They have been dominating in several fields for years.

So, that all being said, I am ready to go out there and ride with the best combination of performance and protection available on the market and that is SUPER motivating.

Needless to say, even though it was midnight when I arrived in Santa Monica, I tore those two boxes of helmets open and checked out my triathlon presents (they sent me 7 helmets and are preparing –special ones- for race season. I’ll keep that a surprise for now…

Of course, I couldn’t wait to give them all a test ride, I did my first ride this week with the Mojito helmet and absolutely LOVED it. It felt weightless and fit like a glove because like most of their helmets it is adjustable horizontally and vertically, so it –hugs- your skull as it adjusts to fit in the curve under your occipital bone.…+ it looked hot (you know that counts too!!).

The level of comfort is also increased by the fact that only the padded area is in contact with the head (vs 70% contact in a regular helmet).

I also took the Mojito for a spin! Absolutely loved it, it is smaller and is perfect for riding in heat conditions

The K.31  TT helmet is simply AMAZING, 100% adjustable, Super light and definitely ultra aero with the visor.

The K10 same fit and adjustment as the K.31 TT helmet sits lower on the head then the Vertigo, for a more aerodynamic profile.

(K50)

Finally the K50

And then, there is the URBAN helmet. Most stylish to sport around Santa Monica on route to a day at the beach.

OHHH YEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://astarykowicz.blogspot.com/2011/12/magali-tisseyre.html

The main reason I love racing is for the intensity of the emotion it can generate. Crossing the line in Miami was another magical moment.

I will admit that on race morning, I didn’t feel so motivated and I was feeling the weight of a long season with a lot of learning experiences. The season was supposed to end in Vegas and I had been stretching it out for a while! On race morning in Miami, I was finding it very hard to put any kind of pressure on myself so, I decided to race with having FUN as the main focus. I needed some balance and needed that fun on the last race of 2011. You have to love what you do and I learned that the hard way in my music career. I think I will always include -candy- races in my year. They work for me. So, I decided to race to finish and have fun going hard. I didn’t worry about anything else.

On race morning, it was dark and poring rain! We jumped into the salt water from a high dock, to start the day.The water was perfect, I love racing in Florida. From the water, the first thing I noticed when I looked back at the dock was a huge sign for the boats that said: DANGER, MANATEE AREA. That cracked me up. I felt I had no fear of doing a swim  surrounded with weird creatures anymore ( this year there had been: the SEA LIONS at Oceanside, the strange fish  there was sometimes in the rivers we race in and the pack of 40 sharks that apparently swam by a few days before one of our ocean swims in Santa Monica). + I heard MANATEES were super nice creatures so….I lined up pointing out the sign to Leanda. We laughed.

The gun went off! I was excited and felt like I was sprinting HARD but strangely, where the initial sprint is usually my strength, I had no speed and missed the front few girls. Surprisingly though, I felt fine and kept on pushing hard to stay as close as I could and my cruising speed for the rest of the swim was quite good! I had FUN in the swim and challenged myself to stay on task and push non stop. That went okay, it wasn’t my best swim of the year but it was my best effort on the day and it felt better. I eased into the first part of the bike ride, I felt quite uncomfortable at first and just tried to get into the rhythm and focus on staying positive and having fun doing my best, then, around mile 10…I got passed and that pulled out another side of me. From there, I slowly got reeled into going to war. I had a mission and that was, again, not to let the person in front of me disappear into the distance. During the whole rest of the bike ride, I fought HARD not to let the two girls that had passed me disappear. I made a promise to myself not to get frustrated anymore when I don’t have my legs on the bike or disappoint myself with speed or ranking in any length of the race and just bring myself back to being in -the moment- every time because as long as I am providing my best effort every second, I’m in the game. so I just turned off the brain and stayed on task. I hit the red zone a few times on the bike and just went for it. I realize now that I hit the red zone more then I had before on the bike because my approach to the race was more relaxed. I think this is a good point to remember when I race in the future. Learn to push my luck more and not be LIMITED by wanting just a good result. Anyways, I finished the bike in 6^th place even though I put out a great effort so I know I didn’t have great bike legs on the day.

I started to run in 6^th and for once, it didn’t make me feel angry at myself or scared in any way, It didn’t affect my CONFIDENCE. Looking back, that is a big step forward. All I could think of was to CATCH the next person ahead. Jessica Meyers started the run just ahead of me and when I caught up with her, we had a good stretch running side by side in the rain. It was nice and tough but it was also a good moment. I was just searching for the next person to catch, unfortunately, I could see no one ahead for quite a while. Jessica and I exchanged some good motivation as we did the first climb over the bridge. As usual, when climbing I remembered the words of my friend Linsey Corbin: -Up and Over!!!- (from when we trained together in Maui a few years back) and also always remember Siri’s technical cues that I just repeat to myself over and over. Back down we went, and I quickly noticed Leanda was already coming back up the other side of the bridge.(WOW!!! She was way ahead). I kept on running, and running….still no turnaround. I finally saw 3 more girls running back from the turnaround. HOW far until the turnaround??? And…there it was!!! Wow…I would have to run FAST to make the podium. But a voice inside me was saying I would get them, I just KNEW I could make the podium, at LEAST. At that point it was safe to let the idea of the result pull me closer and closer to the front of the race. The only one that really felt VERY hard to get was Leanda but I wasn’t excluding any possibility. I started having a lot of faith and getting excited. A few seconds after the turnaround, I could no longer feel Jessica’s footsteps at my side but I didn’t want to turn around and check. So I focused on the spot in the distance ahead of me, it became bigger and bigger and turned into a racer. I passed, then to the next one and when  I passed transition to complete the first loop, I heard my friend the announcer say: -Magali may run her way into third if she runs fast- I remember thinking: Are you kidding!?? I am running at least into second!!. Thoughts like that fueled me and I ran FASTER AND HARDER. I had really started hurting when I moved into second and it just felt like I had crampy muscles, it didn’t feel so safe to push hard but I needed to test that for the future. SO I WENT harder anyways, mostly using CADENCE to push up the pace. Hurting fueled me, I was fighting again, I had not planned to GO THERE today but I was hurting BY CHOICE and that was fine. Because I was loving the race and WANTED TO HURT AND GO HARD. Cadence worked perfect for third climb over the bridge and at this point I was in second but still running scared. Nothing is secured until I have crossed the finish. Again, I notice now, I was definitely in fighting mode. I thought I could have a cramp until the final 100m stretch where I understood I would be second. I came back to myself in the last stretch and celebrated the last few meters of the 2011 season. I looked up at the finish and felt so emotional. I have been fighting hard since Vegas and have had to imagine different ways to get back on top of the podium. It was a second today on a -not so good- body day. I had started the race wanting to finish and have fun but the passion of racing took over and grew throughout the race and I ended up pulling out a good race considering the way I was feeling. My best effort on the day. The fun thing about it is that I didn’t have to pressure myself in any way before the gun went off. There is such a thing as trying too hard and wanting something too much. I think i always got worried if somedays, I didn’t feel super -BUILT UP and ULTRACOMPETITIVE before a race. I realize now that when it is not as easy to be in that state of mind, I can just focus on the reasons I love to race and TRUST that I am a competitor. The race will bring out the warrior no matter what. I had to just also TRUST   life and trust the future, trust the training and trust the heart and JUST GO. It felt awesome.

Congrats to my teammate Leanda Cave who won by a solid gap on Sunday. The day didn’t finish at the line, I celebrated the end of the 2011 season that night with the girls, we went for good food and some dancing and finished it off with the: -How fast can you run in  high heels on a flooded Miami street  in the middle of the night- relay. GOOD TIMES!

Pic: Leanda and I on the DANCE FLOOR!

Pic: Great company for the night!

Pic: The earli-er morning rainy RELAY.

Hi everyone!

I am flying as I type, on route to the last adventure of the 2011 season. My first thought today was that one of the reasons I love my job is because I get to TRAVEL and meet PEOPLE!

Travel days are special. Every time, it feels like I am throwing myself into the world and putting my life in the hands of destiny (and I am not only saying this because I am afraid of taking the plane…haha). I say that because when I look out the window and see the world, I am also looking down at my little bubble of a life and get a moment to pause and evaluate how I am doing. Most the time, it turns into a wonderful feeling , I count my blessings and build up my dreams, think of better ways to make them come true. Having time to sit down just to think is a luxury these days and I am glad my job allows for that too sometimes. It gives me a moment to take away all limits and imagine what I would do if I was completely free to design my own personal Utopia. How I could step out of my bubble and redesign it. We can only go so far when we reflect alone. Sometimes, I turn to the passenger next to me and clash with his own little bubble of a world. Bubble to bubble, two, often very different journeys, cross paths. Life learnings are shared for a moment, up in the air.

In line, at the grocery store, a person is small or tall, appears rushed or lazy, rich or poor and interest is most often directed on the price of a product or the weather outside. Though their smiles or frowns and some of their comments impact your day, most common interactions with strangers in my training spree of a life can’t be as powerful as they are during travel days. In contrast, when the stranger is the passenger at your side, you sometimes get to learn about a complete stranger in only a few hours.  It is a draw from the world, you learn from the philosophy of an old man from Jordan, the knowledge of the French hypnotist or the courage of the American soldier. You get PERSEPCTIVE and you take a step forward in understanding the language of the world.  More or less directly, you can learn more about people. I believe it has always given me insight on my own life. When you are lucky enough to meet a happy soul, you leave with a heart filled with inspiration. My favorite part of the exchange is when the strangers shake hands, exchange a smile and a wish of good luck, when they then turn around and walk away with a smile that carries them forward without ever needing to look back. Some days, it feels just as if those strangers had been sitting beside you to deliver a message.

For example, today, on way to Miami, I believe that Yacob the taxi driver delivered a great message.  When the taxi pulled over, I noticed a huge smile before the bright yellow color of the taxi. The man looked so happy and on the trip, I had to ask him: Do you like your job? Into the reat view mirror, he directed another HUGE grin. And in case the grin hadn’t been enough he then said: Do I look like someone who likes his job? The beautiful thing about what he said was that he had been a taxi driver for 17 years and that was still his answer. Like that, Yacob was my happy pill who threw me into a positive string of thoughts. I love talking to taxi drivers because they know PEOPLE. I think that is why I find some of them to be good philosophers. It was Yacobs case. I asked him , in his opinion what percentage of the world (or at least the Los Angeles bubble)he thought,was made of good people. The smiley Yacob believed it was not such a question of good or bad but rather of–stupid- or smart. It was surprising to hear Yacob pronounce the word–stupid-, he seemed too positive for that word.  It turns out he was not actually being all that mean. Through the happy taxi driver’s eyes, most people are good but they are not AWARE or in touch with themselves and float through life lightly, making sad mistakes. He saw people making those mistakes all the time, they are sometimes very nice but they live life with blinders and through their actions they hurt themselves and can make people sad. From there, Yacob and I had a fun 25 more minutes shooting out ideas on how to re-design the world without limits. I told Yacob he should run for president and save the world QUICKLY but he prefers to drive his taxi.

Yacob had a good point to share though.  IDEALY, redesigning the world would start  with redesigning people’s awareness of others and having them realize that the most central and most important thing in a life, the one that forges social behavior and dynamics, the one that is falling apart in the modern society, is FAMILY. Because it all starts there. Strangely, the moral of the conversation was also the answer to healing my heart on the day. To me, that was no coincidence.

Enough thinking…now for the technical stuff:

I think I have spent enough time with my head in the clouds for this blog. As the sun sets on this plane, it is time to bring my thoughts back to the drawing board because what good is a philosophy that is not applied.

So It has been a hard return to training after the series of five races I did after Vegas. Mission accomplished, 3 races won in four weeks and great lessons learned. My mind has taken a few steps forward but my body needed a good whipping back into it. Upon my return to Santa Monica, I quickly came to realize that 5 days of CRAZY HARD training (racing) in 5 weeks is not enough to maintain fitness. At all.

It has been a hard two weeks. I quickly found that it was my swimming that had suffered the most (with the swim being canceled at Poconos and only a small pool to swim in at the YMCA there and also all the travel and taper into Anderson) as my swim times were back to more disappointing times. All my body was telling me to do was to rest but I had to push forward and finish the year. Another hard return to training, another last effort. This time, this race at Miami 70.3 would truly be the last one for me this season so every effort was well worth it. What did I have to lose.

From the hard work returning from the races, came heavy legs in training and slower times OFTEN.  I have tried not to let this affect me. All I can hope is to get a return on this last investment this week-end at Miami 70.3 but it is hard to tell exactly how I will feel. I guess it could go either way. There is also no point in worrying about the result as the only way to get closer to the best one is to let the expectation go and just do my best effort on race day, smile and have fun going HARDERRRR!!! If it hurts, if it’s going slow, GO HARDERRRRR! Be relentless and make yourself proud. I guess I will go for round 2 with that in my heart. It worked pretty well the first time but I know this kind of thing requires practice. I am excited to go out to battle and report on another adventure.

Thank you all for following and believing. Good luck in your own adventures.

Step 1 Vegas 70.3:

In Vegas I was not a warrior. I was everything but a warrior. I thought of Vegas, I HAD TO make the podium , maybe the win, the title, the result or ranking, the number. I had thought about it all year and directed all of my energy into one goal. Winning at worlds or bettering my result. I WANTED IT BAD (in this case, bad is the perfect word). I thought IT would be the key to my happiness. It ended up leading to failure.

Not the look you want to have at a pro meeting. Wasn’t even aware of that before I saw this pic…

(Thank you to Ramon Serrano for all of the pictures he sent, all of the pictures featured on this blog were from him.)

I wanted to be LUCKY enough to wake up with good legs and for everything to –come together-. Looking back everything felt so fragile.Well, needless to say, nothing fell from the sky on that day in Vegas , I pulled out of the race early in the bike.

What happened??? It took me a few days and a long talk with coach Siri to figure that out. I did have bad lady cramps and felt very heavy on the bike but my mistake was to let that lead me into a negative spiral of thoughts and ending up so scared (ugh..that word!) of defeat that I created it myself. I was counting on everything to be perfect and…I CHOKED when it wasn’t. The two prior years, odds were against me and I managed a podium. This year, I was fitter then I had ever been and I had a DNF. Interesting observation.

I was supposed to have called it a season after that race but I quickly realized…THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS GOING TO END THE SEASON LIKE THIS!!!! I met with Siri to say goodbye as she headed home to Santa Monica after the race. I was still undecided on what to do at that point. That is when she suggested I should come back and get back into training and just jump into the LA triathlon in two weeks. YES! I loved the idea and was going to fight back. I got excited right away. It wasn’t going to all be easy though.

My coach and team make me smile ANYTIME!!!

So do these three…

First, I said goodbye to mom (I was looking forward to going back home with her, have spent most of the year away) and Alice and I drove back to Santa Monica. Being alone with my thoughts on that long drive was no fun. The next morning, I was running out of the ocean and hopping onto my bike in the first hard brick back into training, my motivation was at the lowest and two weeks more of training seemed like a MOUNTAIN of work. I needed to RACE HARD and get something out of my system.

….I decided to race Malibu Olympic with some of my teammates. I was hungrier to race then I had been in a long time.

Step2: The Nautica Malibu triathlon:

• Olympic distance:

It was a FUN experience. I think this was my fifth Olympic ever and I had a great time and a good run and won it by a good gap. Loved racing by the beach, low pressure, find my passion again!! Malibu was the beginning of my healing.

It made me realize why I loved it so much when my friend Bjorn Ozenbrick yelled out his famous sentence when I trained: GO HARDER!!!! (With his german accent it is actually: GO HADA!!!!! And it was BRUTAL the way he said it with a huge smile on his face) that sentence made me feel STONG. It is just about going hard with a huge grin on your face and forgetting that anything else matters!!! Malibu also reminded me of what Simon Whitfield once told me: It is all about the process. The result will take care of itself. SO RIGHT. I just felt so much more powerful racing when the result didn’t really matter. I had somehow forgotten about that?

• Celebrety relay:

To top it off, The next day was the celebrity relay! As I was napping in the afternoon of the race and being bummed I wasn’t participating, I got a call from COACH saying she got me in a team!! My celebrity was DE LA FUENTE! And I was going to be…the swimmer. YESSSS! OH FUN FUN FUN!!!
I woke up around three that morning, anxious to drive up the highway to the PARTY BEACH SPOT WHERE THE CELEBRITY CLASSIC DISTANCE WAS TAKING PLACE!

OH boy…unfortunately, there was a casualty on the highway that morning and I got lost in a strange detour on the way there, stressing out for Mr. DE LA FUENTE.

Siri called: I was LATE. GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE MIGHTY!! I had to park more then a mile from the race. At first, I was happy to notice there was a shuttle to get me to transition but I climbed in to find myself staring at a driver that had woken up to a sleeping pill rather then a coffee. I just sucked it in and smiled as he waited for NO ONE to get in as the driver on sleeping pills did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for at LEAST 2 LONG minutes! (What? Race time: 0:00 minus 4!!). I turned around for support only to see a bus of blinking eyes and smiley faces that really didn’t seem as concerned as I was. I guess we weren’t in the same wave. I was the only one in trouble here, in this bus of happy people. NOOOOO!!!! SOMEONE get him a coffee!!! NOW!!!!

You should have seen my face when the shuttle THEN went PASSED the transition zone ( Race time: 0:00 +2 minutes). Sr!!! Are we not stopping at the race??? I felt like opening the door and rolling out onto the highway like they do in the action movies but my legs were way too sore for that. Turns out he had to make a U turn WAY OUT THERE before he came back into transition. MY PHONE KEPT RINGING. MIGHTY YOU ARE SOOO LATE. They have delayed the start but soon will start without you!!

I RAN THROUGH THE SAND (Legs feeling like poop), TO THE VIP TENT, Siri gave me my stuff and I ran to the start with her rushing me, I felt ANGRY (don’t you get upset with me! I have been stressing to make it here since 3 this morning, I growled!). I barely had time to put my goggles on when the loudest cannon ever (because in my rush I had placed myself BESIDE IT!) officially turned into my true -GOOD MORNING!!!-.

So I had raced an Olympic the day before, had a big week of training before that and got THROWN into that start but I SWAM MY BEST EVER. What ?? It was just a sprint but I hammered it. All I remember thinking is: This pain is NOTHING compared to having to deal with ringing phone of worried people and a chauffeur on sleeping pills. That kind of pushing was a RELIEF! It was an AMAZING kind of pain. Here I come Mr. DE LA FUENTE, you better have your shoes clipped into those pedals!

What Siri learned from this: Mighty races better when she is angry. (UH OH!!!). That may be right.  What I also learned is how much pain perception can change with your state of mind. And how much better an effort feels when you are the one craving it and imposing it upon yourself. I also realized, IT’S NOT SO COMPLICATED. JUST GO OUT THERE AND GO HARD (Siri had been saying this alot but it took this for me to realize it….sorry coach), I didn’t get to think so much about the effort to come on my way to that one. Taking charge is definitely something I need to learn to do on race day and that was step one of taking charge and it felt amazing.

I didn’t get too much recovery right after that race, (it feels like you don’t really taper that much for an Olympic race…) and before I knew it, it was the morning of the LA triathlon!!!

Step 3: LA triathlon (Toyota Cup) (also Olympic).

There was a tiny bit more pressure at the LA triathlon but I am not sure I even noticed. My mind set had changed, I just wanted to race and -GO HADA!-. There is something about Ocean swims that makes it feel so FUN and I also LOVED that we would race through LA and finish downtown. Also SO excited to swim with amazing ITU swimmers and I have not raced a lot in an Urban setting and that was EXCITING.

The beginning of my swim was another one of my best! I found myself in the leading group of 4 until half way through the swim (that is where I blew up!! NOOOoooo!!WHY??? Grrr.), but while it lasted, it felt like a FR**** miracle, a DREAM come true! When I blew up, I lost time on the leaders but the damage wasn’t that bad! I got out of the water less then a minute down from the lead pack of swimmers including Peterson, Lavelle, Norden, Vodickova, Stimpson, Avil, Ertel. (Well…of course… there was McClarty one minute ahead of all that group and probably also teammate Luxford who had lost her chip). But I exited in 9^th of 15 in a fast ITU swimmers field and that was a first victory for me. Unfortunately, against all expectations, my biking is the segment that let me down. My legs were just BURNING like and tried to squeeze as much power out of them as I could but was not great. I struggeled through the bike.

By the time I reached T2, I was 11^{th …}bummer! BUT as I didn’t care so much about the result in this race or at this point where I was already 11^th, I figured….let’s just have fun trying to find out how fast I can run a 10K off the bike! (I had run a 36 ish in Malibu and I KNEW I could run in the 35 range).

There was a pretty big hill in that course that you had to do twice (we have been working the hills well on the run and I just went for that hill hard everytime). I ran up four positions on the run and ended up 7th with the third fastest run split overall (35:49), exactly 30 seconds off Lisa Norden’s run time!! That was another personal victory.

At that race, I realized a 7^th place in which I had given it all, could make me smile. This time, the effort had made me smile, not the result and that was another huge lesson. I started feeling so much passion again for what I do and also gained a lot of confidence from running a good 10k off a hard bike effort.

But what was going on with my biking??? Needed to put more work into that, which is good because it seems like I had been doing pretty good with obstacles in the past two weeks. They are what I got a new motivation from and one that felt POWERFUL! Next plan was to get back into my field of racing the following week! I registered to race the 70.3 Pocono Mountains for Step 4!

Step 4: Poconos 70.3

Poconos was such a fun adventure, I flew to Montreal from Santa Monica to meet mom. From there, we jumped into the new RV and made our way to Pennsylvania. We had a few technical problems with the RV (we weren’t even sure how to plug everything in at the camping (didn’t help that it was the middle of the night!) and had some electric issues…oh boy…), also, Alice (my wiener dog baby) was sick ever since she had flown and that was not helping the mood. Other then that, I loved that thing! We slept so well at night and mom cooked us up some great meals (including risotto and tenderloin with Rappini…yum!), we also got to watch movies (GI Jane definitely helps my racing! Hihi)! It was also nice because I tend to be forgetful so whenever I went somewhere and though: OH NO! I forgot that at home! I ended up thinking wait a minute… and just ran back to the RV that was never parked too far!

HA!

Anyways, on race morning, it was G.I MAGS !! BACK for round three, logging in and ready for a fight. Since I had registered last, I was the last one in order to take the time trial start. That meant I was the one who got a total game of PACMAN, I got to chase EVERYONE down!! (Not Pack Man…VERY different. I don’t believe in DRAFTING. AT ALL. (thank you)) okay point made…so I pacmaned my way to the front of the race. That was my goal. The bike ride was so much fun, beautiful country out there, some nice hills, twists and turns, not a boring section! Just quite COLD! Brrr…

The plan was to catch the first person ahead ASAP, use It to boost my confidence and get the Pacmachine going. To me, number fourty (Ficker), leaving just before me, was one of the best ones out there so it would be definitely good to get some confidence from that first pass. It was a good fight in the first few minutes and I think I got carried away, OUCH (actually the first 15 mins felt like a 10K TT pace). That first bit was a little scary also because I got VERY cold in my race suit with only arm warmers on but it didn’t last very long. I was craving the hills to warm up. I passed Desiree in a hill but started noticing she had also been catching up to a few girls ahead of herself! I was pretty sure she would be strong today also. My Pacman moves kept on going, I spotted one person at a time and trying to catch them made the time fly. The course was beautiful and wild…so wild that the main event of the bike ride for me was –an encounter with a bear-. Seriously. He wanted to cross the road in front of me but then decided he didn’t want to ruin my race so he gave an apologetic look and ran back into the woods. That was a cool bear. I passed a few numbers before I passed number 39 about half way through the bike. 39 had been going fast and was not about to let me fly through. I got challenged, challenged back and then realized how much I had been hammering since the beginning (legs dangerously on fire) so I tried to just let her go but keep her in sight to see how I felt. It felt HARD even just keeping her in sight which confirmed to me I had gone out a little too fast and gave me a good goal. I remember telling myself that if I could just keep 39 in sight until the end of the bike, I already would have something to be proud of at the end of the day. It worked. She got away but not out of sight!

I started to run. My legs didn’t feel great at all but it seemed like it would get a little better. Time to pass number 39. FINALLY! Out of transition I heard mom say: Someone at 1 minute, someone at 6 minutes. WHAT??? UH OH! That better have been the first girl to start the TT! Turns out she was actually something like 2-3 minutes ahead at that point and had left early in the time trial. But thank you mom for having freaked me out with that, that made me angry and run faster.

The run course was hilly and I loved it! I didn’t run or bike any PB’s but I faught HARD and came into the finish line first with the fastest run split and second fastest bike split. That was my goal, leave last on TT, come first to the finish and be sure to have won!

It was such a great feeling to come through that finishing stretch first knowing I had given my best effort. What was magical at that race was how I could hear my friends cheering on the last hardest three miles. Racing out east is so fun, it gets so emotional because I feel I know people from here and they cheer and carry me through the race when it gets tough!!!

THANK YOU to everyone who cheered in POCONOS, it truly made a difference!!Such an emotional finishing stretch.

Mom and I camped in the RV Poconos camp ground that night.

Step5: Rev3 Anderson.

http://rev3tri.com/live/?show=videos&youtube_id=E-N3ZnbfLpg&pid=9922&pos=3&pg=1

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. (Wayne Gretzky)

With fellow Canadian Tenille Hoogland who pushed me to my limit.

When I woke up in the morning I thought: How about taking a chance and doing REV3 Anderson!!??? Next week-end!! I had been wanting to add that race to my schedule but was unshure if it was a good idea to race two halfs 8 days apart within a series of 5 races.

I asked Siri what she thought: GO FOR IT! And so…instead of heading back home to my luggage (bike box, Alice’s travel bag, my luggage), I decided to leave it all in St-Sauveur, drive from Pennsylvania to South Carolina with mom and fly out from there. Figure out the rest when I get there. That meant mom would have to drive 20 hours back home ALONE and she said she wanted do it! No problem. (She is quite brave that momallmighty.)

It turns out, Rev3 Anderson was WELL WORTH leaving my luggage back home and letting poor mom drive back on her own with only 4 weiner dogs as body guards!

Here goes the story of week five of all out racing:

I was definitely taking a chance racing Rev3 as the last race of the block. I had no idea how I would feel after 7 days of rest and there were girls in that field that were definitely solid athletes. But I needed to do something that was Epic to myself. I wanted to put myself to the test and do something HARD that would force me to give it all. I also was EXTREEMELY tempted because I really love those Rev3 races. They are the definite party experience. The Rev3 Showdown!

Speaking of showdown. There is another reason I wanted to race Rev3 Anderson. I had raced 2 Rev3 races this year, and the show I put on there was not really what I would have liked.

In Knoxville I was third: The day before the race I crashed in the rain over a railroad track and locked myself out of the car. On race day,me and Wassner went the wrong way out of the water and as if that was not enough, we then both followed Dibbens when she went off course on the bike. OH BOY…

But the most frustrating experience was at Quassy when I DNF’d because of hypothermia about 2 minutes after the start of the bike, shaking out of control. That race was awesome and I didn’t even get to do it! It was immortalized by a post race hypothermic interview in which I embarrassed myself just a little more!!  Hihi.

Anderson was an inaugural event, which made it even more exciting!

I had no idea how I would feel after Poconos and respected the tough competition I would have on the day (teammate Kate Major (also series leader), Meredith Kessler, Tenille Hoogland from Canada and the up and coming Malaika Homo, winner of Cedar Point Rev3). During the interviews, some of the Rev3 crew had me pumped up enough (reminding me of the previous embarrassments) to make me say about my competition: -You are all going down!! –

I didn’t cover my mouth fast enough and the sentence came out. It was quickly made into a twitter post and addressed to my competition (by the Rev3 crew of course) along with a picture of me pointing my fingers out like a gun. Thank you guys… PRESSURE WAS ON (me) …PEOPLE!

YESS! I know, the Rev3 crew always likes a good show so they made sure they spiced it all up good the day before the race! Got me in trouble for sure!

The night before the race, I usually sleep pretty well. But the night before Anderson, I had trouble falling asleep because I WAS TOO EXCITED TO HAVE JUST FOLLOWED RINNY AND LEANDA KICK ASS IN HAWAII and place two  and three in RECORD TIMES! Historical day for team Sirius!! I was jumping up and down at 10pm. OH BOY!!!

Inspired by that mega performance, I showed up happy at the start the next morning and also ready for a FIGHT no matter WHAT. That was my new plan. STAY in the game no matter what, forget about the result, focus on the process, stay in the moment, go hard and prove to MYSELF how tough I can be and have fun in the process. Pretty much apply what I had learned since Vegas. Surprising how much more relaxed I was on race morning, with that approach.

Charlie Patten gave me the last little bee sting I needed when he told me before the start: Remember Quassy!! (his voiced saying those words echoed in my mind a few times during the race…haha) (Thanks for making me ANGRY Charlie!) loved it and was all set to go!!

The gun went off and I started to swim. After the first minute of racing, I understood I was going to have to race smart in order to survive  until the end today. Sometimes racing smart and conservative for the first bit is the best way to get the best performance out of yourself in the end and today, that was the case. My legs were BURNING right away with the all race start and I understood I had to gage my effort better then ever. The last thing that would be good for me today would be sprints and short all out efforts, they just felt terrible. Any effort that got anaerobic just felt wrong so I knew I would have to push the limits without doing anything stupid. I found myself swimming slower then I did in any other race this year. Probably a minute and a half off what I expected but it felt nice and hard so I kept on bringing myself back to my good effort, no beating myself up, just go hard and quiet the mind.

Out of the water, I felt powerful on the bike, although I did feel the effects of the last half the whole way. I saw Malaika up ahead and caught up to her at about mile 15. She and I faught for a while. Up on our pedals passing each other FAST and then settling. I was re-passing, pushing my luck in some painful shorter, high intensity efforts. They hurt. But I was feeling feisty and was wondering how someone that I had caught up rather fast would suddenly be giving me such a hard time. I let that make me ANGRY. It didn’t get any easier and with the way I was feeling, I focused on keeping her in sight (it was a big challenge as she was fast and pushing up my pace) and fueling as well as I could. (I took seven CAFFEINATED (very important!) GU gels on the bike and felt I needed more!!).

There were tough moments during that ride, there were moments where I started thinking how terrible my ranking would be and that would take away all my energy. But for this time, I wasn’t going to give in to that, don’t want a second one of those painful lessons. I was going to give the –race to test your inner strength- a chance, and FORGET about anything else. I wanted to be a fighter and the strongest fighter I had ever been. That was my goal on the day and I had to CONSTANTLY bring myself back to that on the bike as I knew I was not either having the bike of my life today in terms of TIME.

Later in the race, I caught Meredith who had unfortunately lost her saddle but was still smiling and going hard, being relentlessly positive! (That girl is awesome  by the way). I think I entered T2 in fourth place and starting to run felt…BAD.

Meredith passed me back at the start of the run and so did another male pro (a bad thought snuck in like…who’s next? I shut that thought out too and replaced it with focusing on my Siri cadence cues and staying present, specially in the hills (love the hills now, trained for them (yes Siri…I LOVED IT!!!).

Starting to feel better…. can you tell?

I also focused on fueling and sipped coke out of my FuelBelt palm holder (think it saved my race this time, seriously). I also focused on having faith in my training and deciding that I was going to run fast no matter what. This time I was going to take control and MAKE IT HAPPEN. I had the coke and felt better and better and better. At about 5k I felt really good and wasn’t thinking about the distance anymore, just the effort: GO FASTER. I started re-passing the people that had passed me out of transition (that had never happened to me before…usualy  they were gone for good).

Starting to hurt more…

and worst…but in sight…

oh boy….

Final combat!!!

Then I started catching up with the ones that had started running ahead of me focusing on one person after the next. I had no idea where first place was and frankly I was not even thinking about that yet, I was now feeling STRONG and doing my best effort, then I heard the winning spot was 2 minutes ahead. At that point I knew I COULD win and I let myself feed on that thought but it was going to take everything I had. With 5k to go, I think I was about 1:20 down and I could start seeing Tenille ahead of me. At the same time, my legs started feeling like broken elastics and I was making sure to take coke at every single aid station. I kept on thinking about Tempo and form also even got some emotional strength from my fast run at the LA triathlon and also thinking about the combat Rinny had put on in her marathon in Hawaii the day before. I started feeling excited!!! With about 800m to go as I prepared for the pass, my friends were yelling to attack and I was transported by the emotion.

The leader, Tenille, was right there and fading but it sure felt like I was too!! As I got closer and closer I decided it was going to have to be a brutal pass where I would never look back and just hammer all the way to the line. Okay…are you ready to hurt yourself?? NOW JUST GOOOOOOO!!!!

With about 400m to go, I saw (mostly heard) mom jumping up and down yelling -GO PACMAN!!!- Would have cracked me up if I hadn’t been in agony. The pass happened in a small hill where I was extra confident and I just gave absolutely everything I had left in the tank to make it first across that line and finish the day and the series of 5 races with a huge smile. I think I ended up winning by about 17 seconds. Tenille put up such a great fight. What a warrior.

I fell to the ground when I crossed the line. It was the most emotionally intense moment I had all year racing, Tenille was also so happy and we shared a great moment. I had really put out my best fight and there was no better feeling in the world. Personal mission accomplished and huge lessons learned.

What this series of races has shown me:

All I wanted was to be a winner when what I truly needed was to first become a warrior.

The true pleasure comes from knowing how strong you are inside. Being proud inside.

Thank you to all of you who cheer and believe. Again, I will say, I will try to keep you posted more regularly.

P.S: I have been reading all these quotes I could have used before Vegas…

Winston Churchill

Never, never, never, never give up.

Abraham Lincoln

My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.

Michel de Montaigne:

“There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.”

Confucius:

The man of virtue makes the difficulty to be overcome his first business, and success only a subsequent consideration.

Ovid:

There is no excellence uncoupled with difficulties.

Keila, a twelve years old triathlete from Quebec City, won the 4 km of the La commissionscolaire des Premières Seigneuries. This is an annual event that started a few years ago topromote sport and healthy habits among children. Every year, 2500 children from age 10 to 12participate in this event. Keila finished first out of 1200 girls!
Keila has a story of her own. She comes from a family of 4 children, she’s raised by a single mom who often struggles to reach the end of the month. Keila was first spotted at her school,by her physical education teacher, Dominic Soucy who is also the owner and the chef trainer of a triathlon club in Quebec (Club de triathlon de Beauport). Dominic is a strong believer in involving young people in sports to enhance their personal growth and self esteem. He has a unique approach to sport which include the use of non traditional activities that promotephysical activities and creativity. Even the less skilled children and those who don’t necessarilyhave an interest in sport are prompted to play his various games.

Keila joined the club two years ago. Triathlon is an expensive sport. Many accessories are needed and at this young age, the body grows so fast that clothes and shoes need frequent replacement. Dominic managed to help find a bike for Keila. Pro triathlete MagaliTisseyre gave Dominic a huge support by sending two boxes of sports apparel to help Dominic in his quest to promote sport and triathlon among youngster.Her smile says it all!

Keila and coach Dominic
It is well documented that kids who are physically active have greater chances to stay out of trouble. It is also proved that engaging in a variety of activities have social, emotional and cognitive benefits. Seeing the benefits of hard work and practice also teach commitment and it’sa great reminder that anything is possible and it all depends on you.

GOOD LUCK TO DOMINIC AND LITTLE KEILA!